Lady A…..with a twist….of vodka.

Everyone on this planet has been subjected to Lady Antebellum’s hit song “Need You Now” at least 9,000 times in the last  six months. The song is everywhere. While I appreciate music and all that it is worth, even the bad stuff, I couldn’t help but fill in the lyrics with my own take on the situation. Off of the top of my head…here is what the chick really wanted to say:

I just dropped my valium,

Now it’s scattered on the floor.

Reaching for my vodka, I think that I’m on shot number four.

And I wonder if I should have done those lines.

To me it seems I’ll be just fine

It’s a quarter after noon, I’m completely trashed and drunk-dialing now.

You said I shouldn’t call and you hoped I’d take a fall but I am trashed right now.

And I don’t know how to just shut my mouth, I am trashed right now.

Another shot of Cuervo, just ran into my closed front door.

Wishing you’d come get me, how’d I get here on the floor?

And I wonder if you’re on the other line.

Maybe I’ll call you one more time.

It’s a quarter after noon, I am effing smashed,

And drunk-dialing now.

Said to get a life, you already had a wife but I’m smashed right now.

And I don’t know how, but I just fell down, I am hammered now.

Yes I’d rather puke than have you reject my call.

It’s a quarter after noon, I’m running out of booze and drunk-dialing now.

And you said I made you sick got hit with an ugly stick but I’m sloshed right now.

And I don’t know how but I just found out that I’m having your baby now.

I’m inebriated now.

Oh baby I just fell down.

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