Upon reading post after post about the insanity of the newly changed zodiac signs….I have decided that this calls for a zodialogical intervention. I’m starting my own fucking list of signs.
1. Assholarious: you are a total prick, while at the same time light hearted and comedically inclined.
Living example: Daniel Tosh
2.Herpes: the sign of the devil, and most strippers.
Living example: Ke$ha
3. Beo: you stink, and should focus more on personal hygiene and less on Xbox.
Living Example: This guy.
4.Pleghmini: while inclined to attract infectious viruses, you find wealth and joy in Kleenex stocks.
5. Prancer: you wear your flag proudly and have a keen eye for cosmetics. You go girl!
Living example: Big Gay Al
6. Boreus: it will take you a lifetime to finally put your finger on the reason people don’t like you, and why most avoid conversation with you like the plague…unless armed with 5 hour energy…and a handgun.
Living example: The old dude from The 700 CLub….
7. Terdgo: tormented with an existence defined only by the length and girth of your excrements. You killed something in your past life.
Living example: Justin Bieber
8. Queebra: check your panties, girlfriend
Living Example: Snooki
9. Squirrelpio: your longing for nuts and trees is outweighed only by your annoying giggle and morbidly small brain.
Living example: Sarah Palin
10. Canocorn: you shall have everlasting life.
Living example: Dick Clark
11. Crisces: as spastic as a colon can be….you keep the prescription drug companies in business and crazy houses open. Thank you.
Living example: Denise Richards
12. Uscarius: a horrible existence is the one you were dealt…thank goodness for Halloween.
Living example: Kirsten Dunst
I hope you all find your proper category and embrace your new existence.
~Mo
MoMiCa's MoUTh 